I was about to skip blogging for Week 4 because it feels like I don’t have any updates.
My mental health was in shambles. I did the bare minimum when it came to my #100Devs work, and I was definitely not connecting with anyone.
One thing though: I do want to talk about mental health. I want to normalize talking about it because I know that I’m not the only one that goes through periods where everything just feels like shit and it feels like nothing is going right.
But I got it into my head that I need this blog post to be organized, have some clear topic points and maybe some nice graphics to go along with it. And that discouraged me from even starting this blog post at all.
Mental health is rarely clear or organized. As my friend Debby said “It’s real. Expression doesn’t always have to be long or thorough or complete. It just is.”
Get you a friend like Debby, because she is absolutely right.
To me, having a bad mental health day (or week, or year) is oversleeping, not having the energy to do anything, let alone study. It’s a time where my thoughts are harshest on me and imposter syndrome can just walk into my thoughts and make itself at home.
It’s a time where the negative can easily overshadow the positive. And there were some positives! This past week, I passed a class that make me closer to getting my degree!
I willed myself to check in and watch Leon’s streams lives, but on both days I felt myself mentally check out early. On Friday, I watched Independence Day. And that’s it.
I know that there might be some life lesson that I can connect with Leon’s message of “I’m a baddie that writes bad code” but I’m going to leave that for another day.
For now, I’m going to drink some soothing tea, repeat some positive affirmations, and be nice to myself. Maybe I’ll watch Independence Day again. Maybe.
Long story short: I felt like shit. Take care of yourself y’all.
the bold dev 